Local autism expert explores the intersection of relationships and autism at national conference

SPRING, Texas - Families, caregivers, educators, autistic individuals and professionals gathered on August 23 and 24 on the San Diego State University campus for the first Love & Autism Conference to hear Paul Louden, local autism expert, discuss the potential for real personal connections for young adults on the autism spectrum.

Americans know that autism is a disorder that affects hundreds of thousands of children, rendering typical social interactions and communication arduous for its sufferers. Each individual experiences autism differently, but for all the U.S. children with autism, growing up into adulthood creates the challenge of attaining the personal relationships and meaningful activities that make life vibrant.

The two-day conference was designed to delve into the necessity for human connection in autistic individuals who may have trouble interpreting social cues, connecting with others, and communicating with others about their mutual needs. No two individuals on the autism spectrum experience the disorder the same, but speakers and attendees alike were able to share the power of relationships to provide happiness.

“The conference was so powerful and emotional,” says Jenny Palmiotto, certified Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) consultant in San Diego, California, and founder of the conference. “Speakers told of a beautiful love story and all of us were richer for it. Many spoke of unconditional love and how we show each other love without getting anything back. One person commented to me that they felt some of the speakers had a better understanding of love than we ‘neurotypical’ people do.”

Autism-awareness activist and radio host Paul Louden of Spring, Texas, spoke on the unrealistic expectations created by film and TV depictions of romantic love. Many individuals on the autism spectrum rely on mass media to give them social cues and ideas, and Louden explained that when it comes to love, media messages are disastrous.

“Culturally, mankind uses stories to teach lessons—the elder by the campfire telling children about the dangers in the woods—and TV and movies are our stories,” Louden said. Louden co-hosts the Understanding Autism radio show and speaks frequently on his experiences as an adult on the autism spectrum. “They contain bad lessons about what real relationships look like between men and women. A better place to learn is the relationships around you. If you and your husband have a fight, it’s OK. In real relationships there are fights and sometimes things go wrong. It’s still part of a healthy relationship, even if it doesn’t get resolved right away.”

Louden and other national speakers answered a host of questions from parents, caregivers and autistic individuals who wanted to relay their experiences, ask for advice, and commiserate on the challenges.

“Paul was amazing, thought-provoking, heartfelt and honest,” Palmiotto said. “He is so eloquent at describing autism and the thought process that might go along with it. He talked about the guilt associated with autism, the fear of failure, and how those get magnified in love.”

Research academics, behavioral therapists and autistic individuals spoke on a variety of relationship topics. Attendees were imbued with a wide-range of possibilities. In a community where frustration and emotional hardship are commonplace, the possibilities were enlightening and inspiring.

For more information on Paul Louden, visit www.understanding-autism.info.